Free Friday

I requested off work today and next Friday so I can get to work on other things.

I use my free time for work. Ha!

With time constraints, physical capability constraints, "brain wavelength" constraints I just needed a little break to catch up on life.

More than just being able to tick off all the items on my "to do" list, it's a chance for me to take a deep breath and get inspired for what's coming up ahead.

It's different from replacing my anxieties with more busy-ness. It's mental, emotional, and spiritual digestion.

Yesterday, I read about the woman in Scripture who washed Jesus' feet with her tears and hair, showering her Lord with kisses. The words hit me - is my heart that tender? Or have I allowed the busyness of life to harden my heart and am now looking for a quick, superficial fix?

I came across this little diddy, and I've been chewing on it for some time:

"People like to microwave everything, God loves to marinate"

I constantly try rushing into the next new thing, accumulating more and more stuff and responsibilities, then worry about getting fast results. Like microwave cooking, the end result is kind of sloppy, uneven and sometimes explodes all over the microwave ceiling.

A good marinade and some slow-cooking produces a tender meat that can be more fully enjoyed and appreciated.

It's a slow-cooking kind of day. Different pace, for sure, but God's still at work in me. I need to do my part and work it on out!

"... much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Philippians 2:12-13)

top ten tuesdays: Halloween

We're having a Halloween shindig at work tomorrow and everyone's supposed to bring in a homemade dessert. Well, I didn't have time to go shopping and I don't have squat for baking ingredients at home...

So, here's what I can whip up with the things I do have:

Top Ten Dishes for An Office Halloween Get-together

10. Ten hard boiled eggs sprinkled with salt and store-brand hot sauce

9. Boatload of pasta

8. Leftover Cinnamon sugar donuts

7. Can of New England Clam Chowder

6. Steal my roommate's cake mix (just kidding Darma...)

5. Steak ... nah, this is just for me.

4. Buy some drinks at the convenience store on the way to work

3. Bake a cake from cake mix (Darma, please~!)

2. Popcorn (might be about 2 years old)

1. White rice with soy sauce and sesame oil plus egg on top (FTW!!!!)

See, also: Top Ten things to eat when Superstorm Sandy pwns your city

thank you thursdays - second chances

Hard work, persistence, discipline, determination and talent - surely, all important.

But if I had to choose one way God has manifested Himself in life?

Second chances. (A bit of a misnomer really....)

I used to think that people gave me second chances because they believed in me and my innate ability to make progress, to improve and succeed. But after receiving "countless second chances", I'm convinced that it's definitely not me worth believing in. That's quite foolish actually - because if I was indeed so solid and a sure thing to believe in, why would I still need to receive "second chances"?

It is not the one who receives the second chance who is trustworthy and reliable, but it is the "chance-giver" who is worthy of being trusted.

The one who extends the second chance, extends mercy. And the one who extends mercy has either experienced mercy herself/himself or has a great supply of mercy to give. Mercy begets mercy.

Thank you.

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved." (Ephesians 2:4-5)

the day after

Another September 11th.

I'll be honest: This time, it caught me off guard. I missed it.

I barely had the awareness to realize that it was indeed 9/11. It was only after I checked my Facebook in the evening where I saw a flood of "never forget", "always remember" status updates that I "remembered" this day.

And how frustrating it was in that moment to observe people's desperate attempts to try to acheive something we simply cannot do. Because see, one can't "always remember". One can only just remember. The "always" takes the re- out of it.



Just today, as I was walking back from work, I was thinking to myself, how many significant moments have I missed this year? So many birthdays, weddings, farewells, opportunities to love... to advance. I've missed out on things and people that actually matter.

And today, I missed one of the most historically significant moments in modern American history.


Today. What was I doing today? Today was a normal day.

I was feeling kind of miserable so I lay in bed for a good part of the morning. Called in late to work. Worked. Had several meetings afterwards. Checked Facebook. And then, I remembered:

Today is not supposed to be normal.

See, without taking a moment to remember, life gets so monotonously busy that the days blend together and really don't seem very special at all. Without remembering, there is no gratitude, no inspiration, no motivation, no context for the present, no hope for the future. Without remembering, life becomes narrow and small - all about me.


One of the first instances in the Bible where "remember" is given as a command from God to man is this:

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy" (Exodus 20:8)

Because even the God of the Universe who created all things specifically set aside a day to pause and rest. The God who 'gives and takes away' specifically created the time and space for people to pause and recognize. And He wanted people to remember: set a day apart and treat it more special than the other days... that from the beginning, there's a difference between the Creator and the created. To remember my existence, the very life that I have now was not my own doing, but God's.

Without remembering, I think I deserve life. But when I remember, I see what's endured - God's mercy. And it leads me to believe once again that all this is not in vain.


I'll be honest: I forgot 9/11 this year. It was just a normal day.

But 9/12 - remember.

at ease

Here's a little something I'm reminded of from the Marine Corps drill manual: Keeping the right form.

Marines are always finding themselves standing, marching or fighting in some kind of formation. Particularly in a standing formation, the actual "default" mode for a Marine is some sort of resting position. The three types of rest and the subsequent commands are "parade, rest", "rest", and "at ease". (On the flip side, Marines standing at attention for a prolonged period of time, though sometimes required, is not the norm)

In order to execute these resting positions, the Marine should be standing in her/his place and retaining the integrity of the group's formation as a whole, but at ease. The feet should be firmly planted, hands folded behind one's back, and at certain times he/she is allowed to talk a bit and interact with some buddies. At any given moment, however, the Marine should be able to snap to full attention, ready to obey the next command, aware of her/his surroundings. Relaxed, but always ready.

There are times and seasons where I'm allowed to rest. The normal, busy schedule of meetings and obligations are put on pause and I can "catch up on life". In recent years, my perfectionist, competitive tendencies actually led me to think of times of rest as bad and unproductive. I used to feel guilty about taking vacations and breaks, even abhorring the thought of sleeping more than 5 hours a day.

Alas, my "body is catching up to me" and I've softened over the years. I'm learning that taking a day off, resting, and just spending time recreating are essential. Times of rest are God-created avenues for me to reconnect with Him and re-realize God's purpose in my life.

Now I need to take responsibility and learn the difference between laziness and complacency, and getting a good rest. That, I think, will be important in learning to keep the right form. Just like Marines in a formation are given the privilege of resting but are expected to be fully ready to move at a moment's notice, retaining the integrity of the whole group - I must learn to purposefully take opportunities to rest, but always be ready to serve and live out my mission.

Relaxed, but always ready.

Working Wednesdays - "Off Days"

The other day at work, I was having an "off day". I kept making mistakes and had lots of brain farts, thereby reducing productivity and costing our company some money. My co-workers and boss called me out on it and thankfully, my actions slowed us down a bit but didn't result in ultra-detrimental losses.

I could have blamed my incoherence on lack of sleep, hunger, needing more experience and "time behind the wheel", but at the end of the day it's on me.

Been doing some reflecting and came to the conclusion that the whole "out of character" idea is often misused and misunderstood. If a person is acting "out of character", it simply means that he/she is acting in such a way that is unusual for her/his standard of normal behavior. But that moment of inconsistency does not and should not excuse a person from responsibility nor should we be stuck in a rigid judgment of ourselves and others.

If anything, our inconsistencies reveal another side to our selves - exposing a bit more of who we really are and what kind of lives we really lead on and off duty. Circumstances merely expose true character.

Back to work.

top ten tuesdays

Top 10 quotes from this week's readings and conversations
(note: text does not connote tone... e.g. sarcasm and some have double meanings)

10. "The holiest moment of the church service is the moment when God's people - strengthened by preaching and sacrament - go out of the church door into the world to be the Church. We don't go to church; we are the Church." - Ernest Southcott, from Being the Body by Chuck Colson

9. "It's the way of the donkey, the towel, and the cross. The way of humility, service, and suffering." - Brian Zahnd from his book, Unconditional? The Call of Jesus to Radical Forgiveness

8. "But this is the role of the prophet - to give a minority report based upon prophetic imagination. In their wild, impractical, impossible, God-breathed poems they mount a challenge to the brutal tyranny of pragmatism. And I say, God bless them... instead of surrendering to the assumption that the world, as is, is the way it must be, the prophets fly in the face of convention and insist there must be a better way." - Brian Zahnd

7. "...but Moses stood up and saved them..." - Exodus 2:17

6. "It's OK if you don't know." - Kadie

5. "She said that my life was too easy and blessed. So I prayed, 'God, do your worst'. And He did..." - Nick

4. "Oh? You mean you're not perfect?" - Mack

3. "Don't be trippin'. He [God] ain't through with me yet." - Steve

2. "I don't believe in the impossible." - Mitch

1. "You need identification before you can work. People need to know who you are before you do anything. Get that figured out first. It's better that way." - Coleen, my landlady



These are the "Aha!" moments of inspiration, furiously working themselves into my mind and striving to be applied through my life. More than just "quotable quotes".

Never stop learning. Stay moto.