bucket lists.

At the beginning of this month, our LIFE group looked into Jesus Christ's final week on earth before he was crucified, died, and was buried.

We asked ourselves: "What would you do if you had only had 7 days left to live?" and then came up with our own bucket lists.

So what if I sky-dive or go bungy-jumping or travel extensively or learn/master a cool new skill? What does that actually do or accomplish?

Small dreams

It's like I'm trying to achieve all these small dreams of mine. Everyone knows time is precious - but deep down inside, I want that time to be all mine - all about me - under the seemingly noble pretense of "seizing the day" and "living with gusto/with a purpose".

I guess this attitude would be fine for some people. But for a Christ-follower?
This vision of fulfilling a "bucket list" is so contrary to what God has already put in my heart. He's already shown me that in order to follow wholeheartedly after Him, I must abandon my dreams. God has shown me the brevity of life and how little I control and understand about it. It's foolish to somehow plan all these things to do before I die or hit a certain age when I don't even know what tomorrow will bring!

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring" - Proverbs 27:1

Receiving and giving

My attitude in doing all these bucket list items is all about me being on the receiving end. There's very little giving involved, unless it's coming to the realization that I won't need some material things and giving it away (not for the sake of charity and love, but because I don't need these things anymore and don't want to be weighed down).

It's essentially me taking control of life and dictating exactly what I want to do with it. "It's all about me!" I think that is a lie the world tells me - to "follow my dream" when instead, Christ tells me to "take up my cross and lose my life for His sake and the gospel's". It is a lie that Christ knew I could very easily give into - that's why He told his disciples not to worry about all these things... these bucket lists as the world does... but to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness...

Cheap substitute

To put it another way, I think the reason some bucket lists can be so extravagant and full of things people desire to do/be is that we do not yet fully realize the eternal reward in heaven which will completely PWN anything any bucket list would ever cover. We're worried that when we die - that's it! We're just dirt! So to "live to the fullest", we have to pleasure ourselves and somehow find a substitute for the eternal life Christ promised us. Christ is telling me "Forget your bucket list! It's a scam that doesn't amount to much! You can use your time and energy towards eternal things - because you have eternal life through me! Please stop wasting the time I gave you on earth. Invest what I've given you by being a faithful servant"

Urgency

It's like when I was much younger and went on play-dates. Sometimes in the beginning it would be really awkward if I didn't know my playmate very well. If he/she was already my friend, then we'd get right down to business. Time would fly by. Then, we'd get this weird sense. We'd hear big footsteps and adult voices approaching and would know that our playtime was coming to an end. Realizing we only had a few precious moments left, my playmates and I would "play extra hard" to milk all the possible fun out of that moment. We'd talk a little faster, the plot to our playskits would suddenly have a lot more twists and turns (we didn't play videogames), and we'd just get jittery with nervous anticipation of the inevitable.

I wasn't concerned with what we did. That didn't matter. We could've just sat there, staring at one another for the last few minutes. What really mattered was each other's company. We just wanted to be together for a few extra moments. It was that heightened recognition of our departure - the fickleness of time itself - and our minds going into hyper-mode trying to preserve every last detail as memories.

...my fickleness arises out of a lack of urgency. If I knew 100% for sure that I would die tomorrow, that my "play time" would abruptly end, my bucket list would probably look very different from just a casual, wistfully made one.

What versus Who and How

Bucket list: not so much what I want to "do" (the "what") but more about the how and who. Beyond purposely spending time with people and trying to gain something or impart something from those times, realizing simply that people are my purpose.

Jesus spent his last days loving people. He didn't necessarily go to all these exotic places to do all these sweetacular things. Just imagine: Jesus going all around town turning every fountain of water into wine, making rocks into scrumptious bread, jumping off cliffs and having angels fly him to safety... you know, those "crazy things we all want to do"!

Jesus spent his last moments being spit on, cursed at, falsely accused, beaten, and nailed to a cross - crucified between two criminals. He chose that way. He knew that the small group of people he walked alongside with, loved, taught, and died for would abandon him and deny even knowing him when put under pressure. In those last moments, when any other person would be thinking only about his own wants and needs, Jesus was not thinking about himself at all.

Jesus symbolized his ministry by showing his disciples some broken bread and poured-out wine. "He loved them until the end" by asking His Father to forgive the accusers, because the people did not understand what they were doing. By willfully putting an end to his temporal earthly body, Jesus invested in the eternal. Jesus came to save the world once and for all, not to condemn it as we would in our fickle, proud, judgmental sinfulness. Even after rising from the dead, Jesus went back to his still-doubting disciples and completed his mission in loving them in his fellowship and by empowering and equipping them. Instead of receiving and expecting to be served, Jesus gave everything - even Himself.

Bucket list:
Love until the very end, with no expectations of returned love.
Invest in the eternal: in souls to build God's kingdom, for the fame and glory of His Name.

I can never claim my love for God unless I love my neighbor. I do not choose my neighbors. But I do choose to obey God in loving them. Obedience has no delay. Instant, willing obedience - love is now!