hawhawhaw

I secretly (Not a secret anymore, obviously. Thanks, Blogger.com) envy people who are known for their laughs. You know how you can pinpoint someone just how they laugh? My laugh changes every few months. I've almost forgotten what my real laugh sounds like because my laugh is always a combination of whatever shred of my real laugh is left + an emulation of someone else's laugh.

Whether it's certain mannerisms, words, phrases, or habits sometimes I'm like a chameleon. I just pick things up and make it part of my being.

Ok, sure, I mean this is true for many people. Is it a matter of just being comfortable in my own skin? Or am I hyper-sensitive to what other people think? Or is this not such a bad thing, since it can work to my advantage in breaking the ice and forming closer relationships?

In some circles, I'm known as one of the guys who is constantly doing impressions of other people. I'm not saying that I'm really great at it (I have no idea, it just comes out of my mouth). Something that's being brought into light is how I judge others and how I want people to perceive me. Sometimes I emulate others because I respect them and enjoy that particular trait or habit. Other times, I straight up make fun of people... and it's not nice. Breaking others down to get a few cheap laughs proves me a prideful coward.

In order to please people or preserve my own reputation, I emulate others as a force field. An opaque mask that deters any astute observers from getting to know the real me - a weak sinner.

Man, I'm just in need of God's grace. His amazing grace. LORD, renew my mind! Remind me that I have a new identity in you and my sinful self is dead! Instill your perfect love in me so that instead of judging others in my insecurity, I can communicate your grace in partnership with my brothers and sisters.

"Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly." - Romans 12:3-8 (NLT)

We're all meant to be different. I am only complete when I fully accept what God has called me to be, by dedicating myself as a living sacrifice and renewing my mind so that I may discern what God's will is. And that's the beauty of our differences, not so that I can boast I'm so much better in a certain area than another person, but so we can all work together towards a fuller realization of God's grace.