exposed

Part of growing up is realizing more of who I am. Not only who and what I am not, but embracing the possibility.

The Holy Spirit is exposing more and more of me. Showing me areas of my life, my character that I have not consciously and willingly submitted under His authority. And in turn, showing more and more of who God is in me. Man, there's just so much more to this life that I want to keep safe by ignoring it all.

I read once that the greatest and final source of pride lies in the fact that we insist that we already know ourselves. This pride only prevents me from knowing more of God. Without letting this point of pride go, I cannot say in my soul, "Search me, know me, test my heart and see if there is any offensive way in me" (Psalm 139). I prevent the full realization of the Holy Spirit at work in me.

Yet I'm so inclined to say, "You don't know me! I'll do what I want! Stop judging me!"

I can only limit myself by limiting God. So what's my proper response? Go into hiding, shade the truth, try harder to look and maintain a certain image? No. That's what I do now.

LORD, renew my mind. When I am so set on my ways and think I know myself and have an unwavering "life philosophy", please challenge it and take me deeper. Expose me with Your light.

So, this is abandon.

by Starfield, "Cry in my Heart"

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head